• Book cover of 'Once Upon A%$%ing Time' with whimsical text and illustrations on a dark background
  • Tablet displaying a book cover with text 'Once Upon A%$%ing Time' and a PDF icon.
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  • Genre: Whimsical Horror
  • Players: 3–5 + GM
  • Mechanics: Playing cards
  • Tone: Unsettling, Surreal
$35.00 USD
$35.00 USD $35.00 USD
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Decorative oval frame with a fantasy scene of a girl in a pink dress standing in a mystical landscape.

Welcome to Fairyland!

You were an adult...once. Now you've been sucked into Fairyland, a pastel-drenched hellscape where toys whisper secrets, tea parties never end, and the fae want to peel you apart, one memory at a time. Your body is small, your mind is slipping, and the longer you stay, the less you’ll remember who you used to be.

Once Upon a F&%$ing Time is a darkly whimsical tabletop role-playing game about lost souls trapped in childlike bodies, struggling to survive and escape a magical world that feeds on nostalgia, fear, and forgotten dreams. Fairyland looks soft, bright, and inviting… right up until it starts taking pieces of you.

Your Fairyland Survival Guide

Play revolves around a fast, brutal playing card-based resolution system that turns every choice into a risk. Success feels impactful and failure is never simple. Lose a draw and you'll find there are worse things than harm. Precious memories can be instantly forgotten and your fragile body is easy for the fae to transform in horrifying new ways. As the game goes on, your character doesn’t just get hurt, they change, eroding physically and emotionally as Fairyland tightens its grip.

NPCs and Locations

You’ll navigate living playgrounds, haunted dollhouses, enchanted carnivals, and courts of cruel fae nobility, making dangerous bargains and impossible choices. You’ll meet unforgettable NPCs like the trickster Puck, who never helps without making things worse; Mother Maggot, a child-eating witch who trades potions for pieces of your soul; and the Faerie Queen herself, ruler of this nightmare, whose games can send you home… or erase you forever.

The game gives the Caretaker (GM) powerful tools to warp reality, shift locations mid-scene, and turn failure into escalating consequences that haunt the entire table. Combat is desperate and cinematic, encouraging teamwork, clever thinking, and knowing when to run.

This isn’t Neverland.

This is F&%$-ing Fairyland.